


Choices

by Cat58



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crying, Dark, Death, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Manipulation, F/F, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, My First Fanfic, Sadness, White Is Awful, it's a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-21 02:13:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14274702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat58/pseuds/Cat58
Summary: Ok, so this story was supposed to be about Yellow and Blue coping. It turned into this. I’m sorry but also not. Oh and sorry about any grammar mistakes, I usually have someone else proofread but this one was a little dark so...sorry.  So yeah, trigger warnings about verbal and physical abuse, murder and being rejected.So yeah, leave any criticisms, comments, and maybe suggestions down in the comments and also enjoy! Thanks!





	1. Chapter 1

 

    She remembered the laughs of a young gem echoing down the long corridors of her ship. She remembered pulling the young gem in her arms, caring for her. She enjoyed talking to her. She enjoyed being with her, she even enjoyed when they fought because it meant the little, pink gem was real and not a figment of her imagination. She remembered telling her stories, the stories of how she got all of her colonies. It was a time where she’d smile. When they both smiled.

 

    She heard orders being barked at the various gems in her ship. She was being pulled into the arms of Yellow who tried desperately to comfort her. She was constantly being talked to softly as if she were a child, as if careful not to trigger the sadness bubbling in her. She fought with Yellow often on how she should order her own gems. She neglected her own duties though, letting them pile up for Yellow to do. She enjoyed crying alone, because that's the one feeling she never felt with Pink around-loneliness.

      Because her source of happiness is dead.

     The reason that she once laughed is dead.

      So the Luminous Blue Diamond is dead also.

      She sulks, because the only gem she’d known to love was dead.

      She didn't come back from her visit to Earth. Dead. Pink Diamond had screamed at Blue and Yellow telling them that they were suffocating her. Those were the last words to her mother like superiors. She never got to make amends like she always did, because Pink Diamond is dead.

       Dead.

      “I beg of you Blue, you need to move on with your life, please,” The Lustrous Yellow Diamond told Blue in an almost asserting way. In return, she got sobs and scattered words.

      “Blue, please, you cannot keep doing this to yourself,”

       “I...I believe I can,”

       “If White found out about this…”

       “I know...just… don't tell her,”

       “You know I would never do such a thing,” Yellow shuddered as she remembered _last time,_ Blue was sobbing on the floor as White and the Yellow gem fought. Tears pooled on the floor, as she realized White struck her across the face. Shards almost fell…a sickening thought.

 

        Then seemingly right on cue, the large door to the sobbing diamonds quarters began to swing open. Quickly Yellow Diamond sat up from Blue’s bed, trying to guide the bright white diamond out the door she just opened.

        “What are you trying to do?” The white figure inquired. She was the first diamond. The superior diamond.

        “I...I,” Although she would never admit it, she was terrified of White Diamond and for good reason.

        “Is she crying...still? Yellow you worthless pebble you were supposed to _help_ her,” The White figure looked taken back and disgusted.

        “No...no...no...I...I um,” The terrified yellow figure tried. When her attempt at speaking failed she positioned herself firmly between the crying and proud figures.

        “Get.Out.Of.The.Way.”

        “No...no I will not,” Daring yellow eyes met amused and angry white ones.

        “You will. Or I will shatter you under my heel.” The white gem glared at the yellow one.

 

        Yet the daring and drunken on something that she didn't really understand Yellow diamond didn't move, not a single millimeter.

 

        A large hand reached over, grabbing Yellow Diamonds face with a grip that could crack a normal gem-it was strong and caused Yellows cheeks to be pushed in, forcing her to cut her cheeks with her teeth-In fact, the bigger gem could easily crack her right now, she could easily shatter her between her fingers, but the White gem was clever… she couldn’t afford shattering the smaller gem now. Yellow tried desperately to pry the white hand off her face, but she just managed to grab the white gems wrist uselessly.

 

        “White. Stop, let her go… please.” Blues face didn't carry tears anymore, it toted around fear and concern now. The white hand retreated from a yellow face, but it propelled the yellow gem to the ground-doing this made a loud smacking sound as the gem hit the metal floor. The force alone could shatter any other gem, but for a diamond it simply shook up her form a bit. Causing it to stutter.

 

        “Worthless lump of concrete,” White muttered, then looked up at Blue as if nothing happened and asked politely,” How are you fairing Blue? “

        “How am I fairing? How am I fairing?” Blues voice kept raising, but then it faded,” You must be joking,”

        “You sound more and more like this worthless pebble,” White snickered gesturing to the gasping diamond on the floor, struggling to keep her from straight. Her shoulder pads disappeared, it was too much energy to keep them now.

        “She isn't worthless, if anything you're the worthless one,” Blue said simply. White Diamond-clearly taken back-walked over to Blue and placed her hand on Blues cheek, it was meant to be affectionate but Blue ended that concept quick,” Don’t touch me White,”  A fire ignited in Blues eyes. Damaging Whites pride was probably the only way to make her leave, but she didn’t think about how that might end of for Yellow…

         White smiled a devilish smile.

          “Pearl,”

          “Yes, my Wondrous, Gleaming Diamond?”

         “Take out...the box,”

         “I... certainly my diamond,”

          The pearl took out a small box from the gem, that had a perfect roundness to it, on top of her forehead. She offered it to her diamond.

         “Open it,”

        “Under your orders,”

          The pearl opened the box carefully, she flipped up a small latch with her small fingers then turned the box to her diamond and opened it. In the small box were shards, pink shards, rearranged to look like the upsidedown gem of Pink Diamond.

         The dead Pink Diamond.

         Blue Diamonds baby that gave her once happiness and now, sorrow.

        “Where...Where did you get those?” Blue Diamonds voice changed, the fire was extinguished her weakness was addressed. She didn’t have it in her to even pull away when White reached up and caressed her cheek again. Meanwhile, yellow eyes watched in horror and disgust.

          “Oh, we are going to play nice now aren't we?” White grinned.”I can bring her back, but I need the shards of another diamond,” White eyes drifted to the crippled Yellow Diamond that was still helplessly lying on the floor. Tears threatened to fall down the yellow gems face, but she ordered them back. She always ordered them back, because this had happened before. More times than Yellow wished to think about. White had never before brought her little gems shards though, and most times she needed things from Yellow so Blue was threatened. She was never beaten as severely as Yellow though...The white gem was a force to be reckoned with, and all that tried were broken. Shattered. Dead.

 

         Silence befell the room.

         The silence was so deadly, for it implied so many things...death, life, sacrifice, fear, sadness.

         “Blue?” Yellow called to the Blue Diamond who was actually considering what the manipulative, white gem offered.

          “Yellow, I’m sorry,”

          “You don’t have to be so-” she stopped,”What are you implying? Blue?”

          “You do not understand...I need to see her,”

 

          Then there it was again, that silence, that horrid silence.

 

          “Yes! You see Blue? Yellow is weak! She sits on the floor, her form quivering like the erratum she is! She is pathetic.” The superior diamond scoffed.

 

           “Blue? How could you just throw away my life? Do you not understand that I miss Pink. Every. Single. Day. Do you not know that I bury myself in nothing but work to help me cope with her passing? Blue...I want to see her too, but I would not shatter you to do so…” Yellow looked Blue straight in the eyes, she was pleading. For the first time Yellow Diamond was pleading for her life.

           “But…”

 

           “Blue.” Yellow continued to gaze at Blue, her eyes filled with something other than pride now. They were brimming with emotions that Blue felt constantly;

            The lingering sadness,

             The stabbing feeling of guilt,

             The hovering emotion of betrayal,

              All wrapped up in a pretty bow of unsureness.

             Oh, what stories a single gaze could tell…

 

              Meanwhile, White eyes gawked at the imprudent actions Blue was considering and childishness of Yellows. White eyes stared with pride, and something else too...regret? No, _amusement_. She didn’t really expect Blue to be dumb enough to believe her, and while seeing her shatter her fellow diamond would be amusing in itself. The aftermath is what the white gem wanted. Blue would be overcome with so much grief and sadness she’d have to run to the only diamond left, which is exactly what that diamond wanted her to do, she wanted to be what Yellow was to Blue.

               White walked over to Yellows form, limp and sprawled on the floor, then she grabbed her by her arm, and pushed her closer to Blues feet. Another loud bang sounded as the gem crumpled uselessly onto the floor. The Yellow gem was disgusted with herself, she should be helping Blue- at least that's how she felt-  that or she could simply fight for herself. She didn’t understand why she was so weak, she supposed White was right she was a pebble. A useless, small pebble.

 

              The White gem spoke,” Blue. Shatter this useless, disgraceful chunk of rock,” With each word she stepped on the weak gem crippling her form further but careful not to shatter her, she didn’t want to shatter her, Blue had to do that or plan would backfire.

 

                Blue eyes. Ocean blue eyes meet Yellow eyes and instantly pitied them. She watched the yellow gem get beaten to grains of sand. Her form stood almost proud against the fallen form of the Infamous Yellow Diamond, Blue felt horrible for letting all these things happen to her. But she didn’t reach for the Yellow Gem. She didn’t help her. She didn’t comfort her. She didn’t side with her. She just stood.

 

              She watched her get pounded to the floor.

 

              Deep down, Blue knew if they’d been in opposite situations Yellow would have helped Blue immediately, without thought, she would have rushed by her side, comforted her, sided with her, she would have fought for her. She’d done all of those before.  

 

             But Blue, she wasn't Yellow.

             So she stood.

             She watched.

  
             “B...Blue, I k-know you miss her but w-white is lying to y-you,” The Yellow gem faltered. Her eyes still looking at Blue as her form shook violently. Her armor completely faded away, leaving only a skin-tight under shirt. Her gloves were gone, her armor was gone, and so was her pride.  
             “What reason would she have to lie?”  
              “Ar-re you serious? B-blue, when has she e-ever been there for y- us?” Her form was so unstable but she tried to hold on. She tried so hard to hold herself together.  
              Blue thought for a second.  
              She might have thought about all the years Yellow sat beside her, arm wrapped around her shoulders. Her warmth pressed against her own. She should have remembered how hard Yellow tried to be motherly to Pink, she could have remembered how Yellow only tried to be that way for her. For Blue. Everything for Blue.  
              How Yellow did everything for her.    
              How she protected her.  
              But she didn’t. She thought of the fights. The accusations. The horror. The demands. The way that Yellow would get out of control. Though she didn’t think about how Yellow immediately apologized. She was yearning to get Pink back, and she wanted an excuse to kill a gem that obviously loved her.  
              She contemplated. If Yellow truly did love her then... wouldn’t shattering her for another be exactly what happened so many years ago? Was this Whites plan?  
  
  
               A blue sword twinkled in the soft moonlight that peeked through the equally blue ship. The flashing lights of beautiful stars flushed in, the infinite cosmos were all around them. Deep space swirled and drifted making beautiful patterns of pink, yellow, blue and white. All dancing together to make beautiful formations.  
               Meanwhile, Blues quarters were filled to the brim with pure emotion. With pure guilt. With pure sadness. With pure hopelessness. The room was filled with worry. How it ended would be up to the beautiful blue gem holding a gleaming sword that seemed to mock the two gems in front of her, one kneeling the other looking anxiously at Blue. Blue diamond held up the sword, she remembered how White beat her just a few cycles ago. She remembered the bad things she’d said about her. Then she thought of the shards in that box, the beautifully decorated box. Blue was filled with hope, could she get her baby back?    
               She made a choice.  
               The blue sword was welded.  
               A clattering was heard, as the shards fell uselessly on the floor.


	2. What Did She Do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the part two of Choices, its basically about how people deal with death differently...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok! Hey, guys, I finished the part two of 'Choices' which I am actually quite proud of. I think it turned out quite well, apart from me almost breaking into tears while writing. Oh also, previous topics like abuse (emotional and some physical) come up. Some strong language also, I don't know if I tell you that... oh well. I'm not good at this... Anyway, I hope you guys like it, I always want to hear your thoughts so feel free to leave that in the comments.

 

  As soon as it happened, regret flooded her eyes. As soon as it happened, she dropped the sword and it fell with a clunk. Her hands covered her mouth, her eyes widened with the realization of the horrors she had just inflicted on Yellow. Blue fell to her knees, hands still on her mouth, eyes closed with tears attempting to rush out.

What did she do?

What had she done?

Thoughts scrambled around her head, trying to resolve these questions.

“Y—Yellow… I— I…” More tears came as she realized, Yellow couldn’t hear her and no apologies could ever make this better.

Yellow was dead.

And it was all Blue’s fault.

 

  Meanwhile, White snickered at Blue’s childishness. It wasn’t like she shattered any gem of value, but White pretended to care. She wanted the closeness to Blue, after all, that is what she was yearning for.

“Oh Blue, it’s ok do you remember why you did this? You should be happy!”White plastered a fake smile on her face as she went over to Blue, holding her with affection. 

“Then bring back Yellow.” Blue pleaded.

“I can’t,” The White gem started.”because I don’t want to.”She mumbled.

  The Blue gem looked far away, her eyes focused on the twirling black abyss outside her ship. The twinkling stars flashed and twinkled. Planets moved. Everything seemed unaffected.

Yellow was dead and nothing changed.

The stars still looked beautiful hanging in the sky.

The planets still rotated around a fiery ball of hydrogen.

The only thing that changed was Blue, who was broken.

  She withdrew her hands from covering her eyes, from trying to protect herself from seeing what Yellow was now, shards. Gingerly, she picked up the big shards from the floor, cupping them with both her hands, carefully so they didn’t break further.

What had she done?

 

  “Blue, dearest…” White started as she grabbed Blues chin to get her to look her in the eyes. This action and that word were all too familiar. It was something Yellow had entitled her once, right before their lips met. Blue didn’t know what it meant, not until after she scolded Yellow demanding to know its meaning. Which flustered the yellow gem, to say the least…

“Don’t call me that.” Blue snapped, but she didn’t tear her eyes from the shards.

“Blue? Look at me,”

“Why should I? You lied to me; Yellow is dead because of you,” Her voice was small and it quivered.

“Blue” White started as she hooked one arm around Blues waist.

“White. Stop,” Blue tried to squirm away, but to no avail.

  White pulled Blue close just as Yellow used to do when Blue felt especially sad and they were, of course alone. Blue was just about to protest again when a small sound came out from the shards she enclosed in her hand. She examined the shards, putting them closer to her face. Then she flinched as one of the shards started to glow, and bounced up a bit.

 

That’s what really killed Blue.

 

Yellow was trying to reform.

 

Would she stay in a limbo world where she is forced to stay in her gem for the rest of time?

Blue’s eyes widened, her spirits fell.

 

What had she done?

 

“Oh Blue, honestly! If you knew how many gems I had to put down you wouldn’t be this

… emotional.”White told the Blue gem, rolling her eyes.

 

  Blue looked at her, tears stained her face; her eyes were bloodshot, bags formed under them, her eyelashes occupied large drops of water which decorating them, and her bottom lip quivered.

  “Yellow was right, you haven’t been there for us at all. I bet you didn’t know I have been mourning for centuries. I bet you didn’t know I’d visit her palanquin every single day. Imagine this, but amplify the grief. That’s what I shall feel for Yellow.”

 

  “Oh come on,” White said again, pulling Blue closer to her. “This isn’t bad, is it?” White flashed a smile, but in it held poison. Something that Blue could ever forget, White constantly had that venom. Blue was done with White, and her desperate attempts to feel something. Yet, the Blue gem didn’t push away from White. She just held Yellows shards in her hands, looking down at them, crying.

 

  “Put those damn things down,” White growled, slapping the shards out of Blues hands onto the floor. This time, though, she did as Yellow would in this situation. She reacted. She positioned herself in Whites arms so that she was facing her. Then she did something she would now regret.

 

She punched White, square in the jaw.

 

She didn’t feel bad afterward, though, she felt something else. Pride.

 

Then White hit back.

 

The feeling of pride washed away. In its place was regret, fear, sadness.

 

What had she done?

 

The feeling of the strike was familiar, still though it brought tears.

 

“I don’t understand why you are so stupid! Yellow is dead. You saw to that,” White smiled again, she wasn’t wrong though Blue killed Yellow.

 

“You made me do it! I didn’t want to!”Her voice was defensive, but deep down she knew that White prompted her to kill Yellow but she in no way forced her.

 

What did she do?

 

“Oh Blue, dear,” her hand skimmed Blues cheek, “If Yellow were here she’d agree with me when I say this is not my doing. It’s yours.”

 

  Dread filled the azure diamond. White wasn’t lying. She had done this. All by herself. Look at what she did! Yellow; a once strong, capable diamond, now she’s reduced to flimsy shards.

 

“I forgive you, though; Yellow doesn’t. But I always will, because I love you.”White cooed.

 

  Blue fought the urge to hit her again, even though she was lying on the floor just as Yellow was. Before Blue plunged her sword into her gem. Before Blue killed her.

 

“Don’t you love me too Blue?” White asked, looking down at the Blue gem in pity.

 

“I...I will never love you.” Blue said, looking straight into the determined eyes of White Diamond.

 

“I do everything for you! Do you not see that you ungrateful little--,” White stopped and took a deep breath,“ Don’t you see I did everything for you?”

 

“You say you’d do anything for me… then can you do this one thing?”

 

“Anything.” White responded, picking up Blue by her waist. She put her on her feet, still holding her reasonably close, though.

 

Blue reached her head towards Whites ear, whispering her words softly, keeping White thoroughly on edge, “I would like you to… suffer just as I have for millennia.”

 

With that Blue took an azure and beautifully decorated sword from her gem. Plunging it into the gem it came from.

Her own.

  The guilt she felt, the sadness that overtook her was too much. Besides, the only way to truly hurt White was to hurt the only thing she seemed to love, Blue decided that she’d make White feel as she felt.

How she felt without Yellow. Without Pink.

The sword hurt, it felt as she feared.

Pure pain, it hurt more than anything White could ever inflict.

 

Her gem felt hot, then nothing.

 

She felt nothing.

  



End file.
